Jane Felix-Browne has married the son of the most notorious man alive, a 27-year-old Omar Bin Laden. Jane Felix-Browne is herself a 51-year-old grandmother in northeast England and wants to live with Omar, omigosh, and perpetuate peace.

Jane Felix-Browne met Omar Bin Laden while she was horseback riding near the Great Pyramid in Egypt and fell for the bad boy immediately. So, just how did this conversation go?

Omar: “My father is Osama.”

Jane Felix-Browne: “You mean that black man running for President of the infidels?”

Omar: “No, Osama Bin Laden, the most notorious scofflaw this world has ever known.”

Jane Felix-Browne: “I think I love you. Can I be your second wife?”

Omar Bin Laden is the fourth son of Osama who wants to move to the United Kingdom to be a beacon for peace. For Jane Felix-Browne, this is her sixth marriage, but presumably, the one to bring her the most fame (or infamy).

Now, what qualifications was Jane Felix-Browne looking for in a sixth husband? One must surmise that she went down the list of  qualities such as having a good job, being reasonably good looking, must love dogs and children, and father must have masterminded the killing of thousands of Americans on native soil.

Well, if it is peace that Jane Felix-Browne and Omar Bin Laden want, then it is doubtful they will find this in Great Britain. The same paparazzi that followed Princess Diana to her death will no doubt heckle the heck out of the Browne-Bin Laden family as well.

Or, perhaps, they will just live a quiet bucolic life, (where she will change her name to Zaina Alsabah) and bring a bunch of terrible two terrorist babies into this world and play them John Lennon songs about giving peace a chance. Perhaps this is where the cycle of terrorism will stop?

Filed under: Old News